Should you ask for donations instead of flowers at your funeral? Many people choose donations because they would prefer their farewell to support a cause, charity or organisation that has meaning to them. Others prefer flowers because they provide a traditional way for people to show their sympathy and respect.
There is no right or wrong choice. Your Letter of Wishes provides a place to record your personal preference and explain what matters to you.
Why do some people choose donations instead of flowers?
Flowers have long been a meaningful part of funerals. They can provide comfort, represent love and respect, and create a beautiful setting for a farewell service.
However, some people prefer donations instead because they feel it creates a lasting impact.
Reasons someone may prefer donations include:
- Supporting a charity that helped them or their family
- Continuing to support a cause they cared about
- Helping others in their memory
- Reducing the amount of flowers left after the service
- Creating a meaningful way for people to honour their life
For example, someone who received support from a particular organisation may prefer family and friends to donate there rather than purchase flowers.
How do you ask for donations instead of flowers?
If you would prefer donations instead of flowers, it is helpful to write this down clearly.
Your Letter of Wishes could include:
- Whether you prefer donations instead of flowers
- The charity or organisation you would like supported
- Why that cause is important to you
- Any specific details you would like your family to share
A simple note could explain:
"I would prefer donations to be made to [organisation] instead of flowers, as this cause has been important to me because..."
Including the reason behind your choice can make the request feel more personal and meaningful.
Should you name a specific charity?
This is a personal choice.
Some people have a particular charity or organisation that is close to their heart. This might be a medical research organisation, community group, animal welfare organisation, environmental cause or another charity that reflects their values.
If you name a specific charity, consider including:
- The full name of the organisation
- Why it matters to you
- Any relevant website or contact details
- Whether you would like donations collected at the service or made separately
Charities can sometimes change over time, so it is worth reviewing this preference occasionally to make sure it still reflects your wishes.
Can you ask for both flowers and donations?
Yes. Some people prefer a combination rather than choosing one or the other.
For example, you may wish to have:
- Flowers from immediate family
- Donations from other guests
- A small number of flowers at the service
- Donations made instead of large floral arrangements
Your Letter of Wishes can explain what feels right for you.
Should funeral wishes include the reason behind your choice?
Including your reasons can be helpful, especially for decisions that may be different from what your family expects.
A request for donations instead of flowers may seem unusual to some people, particularly if they are used to traditional funeral arrangements.
Explaining your reasoning helps your family understand that the choice reflects your values and what mattered to you.
For example:
"I know flowers are a traditional part of funerals, but I would prefer donations to support animal rescue because caring for animals has always been important to me."
These personal explanations can provide comfort and reassurance.
What if your family wants to arrange flowers anyway?
Funeral wishes are personal guidance rather than legally binding instructions.
Your family may do their best to follow your preferences, but practical circumstances or individual decisions may affect what happens.
The purpose of recording your wishes is to make your preferences known, not to create stress or pressure for those arranging your farewell.
Many families appreciate having guidance because it removes some uncertainty during an already difficult time.
Where should you record your flower and donation wishes?
Funeral preferences are often included in a Letter of Wishes because they are personal rather than legal instructions.
A Letter of Wishes can bring together all of your farewell preferences in one place, including:
- Burial or cremation preferences
- Ashes wishes
- Type of service
- Music and readings
- People you would like involved
- Flowers or donation preferences
- Other personal details about your farewell
Having these details written down can help your family understand what matters most to you.
Your farewell should reflect what matters to you
A funeral is a personal reflection of someone's life, values and relationships.
Whether you prefer flowers, donations, or something else entirely, recording your thoughts can help your family create a farewell that feels right.
Even a short note explaining your preference can provide meaningful guidance when your loved ones need it most.