What is the difference between a Letter of Wishes and a Will? A Will is a legal document that sets out how your assets should be distributed and who should manage your estate. A Letter of Wishes is a personal document that allows you to share your thoughts, preferences and guidance with the people who will be helping carry out your wishes.
Many people choose to prepare both because they serve different purposes. Your Will provides the legal instructions, while a Letter of Wishes provides the personal context and information that a Will often cannot include.
What is a Will?
A Will is a legally recognised document that explains what should happen to your estate after you pass away. It allows you to make important decisions about your assets and who should be responsible for carrying out your instructions.
A Will can include things such as:
- Who you want to inherit your assets
- Who you would like to act as your executor
- Guardianship wishes for children
- Specific gifts or bequests
- Other legal instructions relating to your estate
Because a Will is a legal document, it needs to meet certain requirements to be valid. It is usually prepared with the help of a solicitor or through a recognised Will preparation service.
The purpose of a Will is to provide clear legal instructions that can be followed after your death.
What is a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes is a separate personal document that explains your thoughts, preferences and hopes for the people managing your affairs after you are gone.
Unlike a Will, a Letter of Wishes is generally not legally binding. Instead, it provides guidance and personal insight that can help your family, executor, trustee or other decision-makers better understand what mattered to you.
A Letter of Wishes might include:
- Your reasons behind certain decisions in your Will
- Funeral preferences
- Messages for loved ones
- Care wishes for pets or dependants
- Information about important documents or belongings
- Details about online accounts and digital matters
- Personal guidance for family members
It is a way to communicate the things that may be important to you but do not belong in a legal document.
Why have both a Letter of Wishes and a Will?
A common question is whether a Letter of Wishes can replace a Will. The answer is no. A Letter of Wishes and a Will are designed to work alongside each other, not replace one another.
A Will answers questions such as:
- Who receives my assets?
- Who has responsibility for managing my estate?
- What legal decisions should be followed?
A Letter of Wishes answers questions such as:
- Why did I make these decisions?
- What personal preferences would I like my family to know?
- What practical information will help those managing my affairs?
- What messages or guidance would I like to leave behind?
For example, a Will might state that a particular person should receive a valuable family item. A Letter of Wishes could explain why that item was meaningful, share its history, or provide guidance about how you hope it is cared for.
Is a Letter of Wishes legally binding?
No, a Letter of Wishes is generally not legally binding. It is intended to provide guidance rather than create enforceable legal obligations.
This flexibility is one of the reasons many people find Letters of Wishes useful. They can include personal thoughts and preferences without needing to follow the same formal process as changing a Will.
However, it is important that your Letter of Wishes does not contradict your Will. Your Will remains the document that provides the legal instructions for your estate.
What can you include in a Letter of Wishes that you cannot include in a Will?
A Will needs to focus on legal matters. Adding too much personal information can make it longer and more complicated than necessary.
A Letter of Wishes provides space for the personal details that help tell your story.
Examples include:
Explaining decisions
Sometimes family members may wonder why certain decisions were made. A Letter of Wishes gives you an opportunity to explain your reasons in your own words.
This can provide reassurance and reduce uncertainty during an emotional time.
Sharing personal messages
Many people use their Letter of Wishes as a place to write messages to their loved ones. These may be simple words of encouragement, memories, or things they want their family to remember.
Providing practical information
A Letter of Wishes can also help with everyday matters that may otherwise be difficult for your family to find, such as:
- Where important documents are stored
- Who should be contacted
- Where keys or valuable items are located
- Details about pets or household responsibilities
Should a Letter of Wishes be kept with your Will?
Your Letter of Wishes should be stored somewhere safe and somewhere your family or executor can find it when it is needed.
Some people choose to keep it with their Will, while others keep it separately and tell trusted people where it is located.
The most important thing is that the people who need it know it exists.
Unlike a Will, a Letter of Wishes can usually be updated more easily as your circumstances change. You may want to review it after major life events such as a change in family circumstances, moving house, purchasing significant items, or changes to your personal preferences.
Is a Letter of Wishes worth having?
For many people, a Letter of Wishes provides something that a Will alone cannot: a personal connection.
A Will ensures your legal wishes are recorded. A Letter of Wishes helps your family understand the person behind those decisions.
Together, they can provide both clarity and comfort at a time when your family may be dealing with difficult decisions.